Today, I realized the importance of asking support. It’s been the very long time that I do all the work, all the decisions and almost everything by myself. Independent ika nga o sige na nga hiwalay ika nga:). Having that someone in our life to back you up can make all the difference in the world.
Supporting friends and families is the natural and automatic response when needed and required. How about for partner? A bit complicated isn’t, “do I have a supportive partner?” Or “How I wish he will be more supportive”, “I tried to be supportive, but it seems neglected and not appreciated” – more often I heard these from girls talk:)
Being supportive means different things to different people. So how to get the right kind of emotional support, what is the disconnection “why I don’t feel that support”.
Being supportive maybe interpret as “love” “sacrifice” “effort” “commitment” and so on. Too many to mention, as I’ve said the meaning depends on each person.
Let us talk about different kinds of support that should be present in a relationship.
– Physical comfort & Emotional support ( listening, kissing, giving your partner a hug)
– Esteem support (encouraging your partner, having confidence in your partner)
– Informational support (advice, gathering information)
– Concrete Support (discussion, helping to solve a problem)
“If he really loves me, he must know what I want” this is the kind of thinking that we have when we are young. I admit that I was once thought of this when I was young. I realized this kind of thinking leads to unhappiness. No one of us can read minds. If we want the right support to ask for it! Don’t assume either. Talk about what will work what will not, compromise and adjust accordingly.
I hate argument and confrontation! It creates tensions in a relationship. Use some cognitive words like “I think” “here is my point” “I’m listening” these at least can help prevent an argument or aggravate the discussion.
However, no matter what the situation is to learn how to ask correctly that will lead to giving and loving.
Keep working on your happiness