Please help me identify the main reasons of separation by commenting your answers below. Your answer and participation will help us understand what happened and will serve as a guide not to repeat the same mistakes.

Marriage separation is shocking, it needs time to heal and move on. There are many causes of  separation, and it is common these days. Couples are not willing to accept the habits of each other and they find answers in separation.

Here are some main causes of separation, which of them is yours?

Money

Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can help a marriage. Money, or lack thereof, is one of the leading causes of marriage separation. Stress from not being able to pay the bills makes partners snap at each other. Also, spending money without your spouse knowing causes resentment and anger. This is especially true if you are unable to pay your debts because of excess spending.

Infidelity

Sadly enough, cheating is prevalent among married couples.  Attraction towards someone else. Mostly husbands get attracted and indulge in extramarital affairs with someone else; as a result he is not able to give enough attention to his wife which results in separation.

The base of every relationship is trust. The base of marriage is also a trust and it only works until trust prevails. If trust is violated then endless arguments and problems occur which ultimately leads to separation. Trust can be violated in many ways like cheating, lying and not fulfilling promises.

A desire to be independent

Sometimes spouses seek independence and they don’t like interference from their husband or wife. This mainly occurs when both husband and wife have professional careers and any one of them feels that the other is coming over his/her career.

Communication

A couple is a team, and to be a successful team there must be communication. Lack of communication is a big factor of separation. Without communication, expectations, likes, dislikes and dreams will all go unsaid. It is difficult for a relationship to flourish if you or your partner feels unsatisfied. If something is bothering you, speak up. When your partner voices her concerns, listen and figure out a plan of action together.

Addictions

Addictions are tough to overcome and they often end up hurting everyone involved. Drugs, alcohol and even porn are all major factors in separation. Drugs and alcohol can cause your partner to become violent and also diminish your savings. A porn addiction may cause your spouse to feel inadequate, leading to the demise of your sex life. Spouses of addicts often feel helpless because the addict has to want to get help for himself in order to be cured.

Sex

Let’s face it, men generally have a much higher sex drive than women. Because of this, sex plays a major role in marriage separation and divorce if the couple doesn’t come to an agreement. It is important to understand any underlying problems, such as sexual abuse or hormonal issues, that might be inhibiting your partner. If you are so inclined, a specially trained sex therapist usually works wonders for intimacy issues.

If your reasons are not specified here could you please share it with us. Thank you

A very well said comments from friends:

Separation is hugely dependent on reason of marriage . Was it based on “twin beggar syndrome ” where each partner is begging for its emotions to be validated and vice versa . Whether your partner , was feeding your self worth , self validation or was he/she your growth barometer.

Was your relationship based on physical form and didn’t reach any of their inner soul space hence remained mired by outside materialistic world .
Did you grow separately in your journey of being conscious to life , to your authentic self which left you with no choice rather than to either accept other person as he/she is or move on .

I agree with all the points mentioned above and would like to add that all these forms are source of individual validation, source of one’s satisfying sense of worthiness & most importantly it’s acting out of one’s ego .

Neetu Shah.

Olugbenga Babatunji Abe Separation is usually caused by inability to resolve differences, deep seated hurt and fear of getting hurt again.